Blind
by Sandylee007
Summary: ONESHOT What if it wasn’t Sora that Taichi let go? YAOI onesided Taito/Yamachi Songfic to Blind from Lifehouse


A/N: Hey there!

I just saw the Christmas-episode of Digimon for a second time a while back, and this idea's been stuck in my head ever since. And so, before I could make a move to stop it, this is what came out. (grins sheepishly)

This is my first Digimon-fic ever, so I'm REALLY nervous right now. (gulps hard) I REALLY hope you'll enjoy!

DISCLAIMER: If I'd own the anime – or song 'Blind' from Lifehouse, for the matter – I wouldn't be posting stuff around here, eh? (groans with misery)

* * *

/ _**Blind**_/

* * *

/ _**I was young but I wasn't naive  
I watched helpless as he turned around to leave  
And still I have the pain I have to carry  
A past so deep that even you could not bury if you tried**_ /

* * *

Over three years later, Taichi was the only one of the two who remembered the first time he and Yamato had met (or, at least, that was the presumption in which he lived).

Always having been too stubborn to break down into tears until they simply forced themselves out, Taichi merely shuddered while sitting in a swing in a playground nearby his house, desperately waiting for one of his parents to come and find him. His hand was pressed to his cheek, still sore from his father's hit, while the words that'd been shouted at him kept bombarding his mind.

He'd failed in taking care of his sister when she'd been sick and would've needed him the most. He'd been selfish, and she… She'd almost…

" What are you doing out here so late?" He jumped at the unfamiliar voice, and his head turned rapidly to meet the somewhat puzzled face of a blonde-haired boy. The other was looking at him with a small frown, head tilted. " Aren't you cold?"

It was then he realized he'd forgotten to take his jacket, and that he was now shivering violently. He, however, managed a smile despite his discomfort and sadness upon discovering that there was still no sign of his parents. " I'm okay. I come here often." He then frowned as well, observing the blonde's face while the other sat into the swing beside his. " You look sad."

The other's eyes darkened still. " My parents have been fighting. I didn't want to stay and listen. I just hope they won't wake up brother."

He nodded, not entirely sure of what to say. In the end, he did the only thing he could think of. Tentatively, he reached out a hand and took the other's. At first, the blonde cast him a confused look, then squeezed back and looked away with an expression he couldn't quite recognize.

It was he who broke the long silence that followed. " I'm Taichi, Yagami Taichi. What's your name?"

For a moment the other remained silent, as though debuting whether to give him this information or not, then spoke so quietly he almost missed it. " Yamato."

He decided immediately that he liked the name.

They sat there for two hours, mostly in comfortable silence, Yamato's father came to get the boy. Before they separated, the blonde (seeing his misery) promised to come there every night to swing with him so he wouldn't have to be alone.

Not much later, Yamato's parents divorced, and his life was thrown into turmoil.

Tai, on the other hand, returned to the swing each and every evening for the upcoming two years, each time having to disappoint. When they finally met again, he never mentioned their first encounter to the boy.

(It wasn't until much later he realized that as far as it was possible for a child, he'd fallen in love.)

* * *

/ _**After all this time  
I never thought we'd be here  
Never thought we'd be here  
When my love for you was blind  
But I couldn't make you see it  
Couldn't make you see it  
That I loved you more than you'll ever know  
A part of me died when I let you go**_ /

* * *

As years passed, it became apparent that a lot of things had changed since that innocent meeting of two children at the playground.

Most of Yamato's affection had become tightly locked behind bitterness and anger. Taichi's first potential best friend had become his first rival. And many nights, for a longest time not understanding why, he kept dreaming of that night on swings.

But again, time passed. Children grew up, walls of coldness became shattered, feelings changed, and things became more complicated than ever before.

Some months after their adventure in the Digital world was over, Taichi became plagued by extremely high fever. For a short moment, he was able to convince himself that it was delirium caused by fever that was responsible of the warm flow inside him when Yamato showed up to see him.

Despite fatigue and feeling like a truck had ran him over, he grinned. " Hey. What're u doing 'ere?" he slurred, almost sure that the blonde wouldn't be able to comprehend.

Miraculously enough, however, it seemed the other did. Shrugging, Yamato sat to his bedside with an obviously pretended impassive expression. " You didn't show up to the swings. I figured I should come and see what's going on."

Not too long after they'd became friends, he'd suggested that they should meet by the swings at least once a week – to see the stars, he'd explained, still not telling the other about their first meeting. Naturally, Yamato had snorted and given a firm 'no' to the childish suggestion – even questioned his sanity at first – but in the end conceded under his tireless persuasion.

" 'orry", he murmured, surprising himself with actually being able to push himself into a sitting position. " I'm 'ine now. 'es go."

Yamato's hand was surprisingly warm as it was pressed against his chest. Blue eyes flashed with something a part of him identified as worry. " No freaking way. Your mother _and_ Kari would kill me if I'd take you out like that."

Fever making him unable to fight against the urge, he bit his lip hard with disappointment. Then, his bleary eyes gleamed with newfound hope when spotting the window of his room and moving back to his friend. " 'ease?"

For a moment, Yamato seemed ready to say 'no', then groaned, obviously melting under the power of his eyes. " Fine. But if your mother blows a fit at me, I'm not taking the blame."

Despite his delirious state, he was fairly sure the shudder that went through him as Yamato picked him up with ease wasn't caused solely by fever. Neither said a word as the blonde took him to the window, he hovering just out of sleep's reach. Companionable silence remained for a long time as they became overwhelmed by the sight of sky where one star after another lit up.

" After all we've seen and been through…" Yamato's voice, although quiet, managed to startle him. The blonde had a contemplating look upon his face. " They just don't look the same anymore."

A wide grin appeared to his face. " No, they don't." He kept looking while even more stars appeared to keep company to the ones already visible. " They look even better."

At that moment, Yamato did something he would've last expected. The blonde smiled, so warmly and genuinely that something inside his chest swelled. " You really are a dobe, you know that?" the other commented in an uncharacteristically soft voice.

He responded with swatting the boy's head as hard as his state allowed him to. As he lowered his hand, it twitched for a while when crossing paths with his best friend's (almost like wanting to grab), but he ended up allowing it to fall instead.

As he started to finally realize that he was falling in love with Yamato that night, he already knew his heart would be broken. But he was a fool enough to not care.  
(It wasn't much later when Sora also started to appear to their park, taking the third swing nearby them. And he knew things would never be the same again.)

* * *

/ _**I would fall asleep  
Only in hopes of dreaming  
That everything would be like it was before  
But nights like this it seems are slowly fleeting  
They disappear as reality is crashing to the floor**_ /

* * *

Even more years passed by, and teenagers started to approach adulthood.

Hard as he tried to shake away the forbidden feelings that'd never be returned, Taichi found his love for Yamato grow with each and every passing summer, with every single smile and evening (eventually, night) spent in those swings, even though Sora was then also there and most of the blonde's smiles (those he'd ridiculously thought belonged to him) were directed to her. As the careful, almost hidden touches he would've graved for more than anything else appeared, he could no longer appear to those rendezvous events. (A tiny part of him hoped that Yamato still noticed, although he was almost certain the hope was futile.)

And then, came the Christmas that finally pushed fate to the track he'd seen it sliding towards from the very beginning.

As he ushered Sora to meet Yamato at the backstage, a part of him screamed that he was making the biggest mistake in his entire life. But most of him…

" You've grown up", Agumon told him, voice filled with pride.

A sadness-tinged smile appeared to his face.

Growing up, it seemed, hurt hell a lot more than he could've ever expected.

Less than a year later, he met Yamato by those swings for a final time, out of the blonde's firm demand. While the other revealed that he'd just proposed to Sora and asked him to be his best man, the sky was once again shining with stars.

(He could never look towards them since, no matter how bravely he grinned as he said 'yes' to the about last question he would've wanted to hear.)

* * *

/ _**After all this time  
I never thought we'd be here  
Never thought we'd be here  
When my love for you was blind  
But I couldn't make you see it  
Couldn't make you see it  
That I loved you more than you'll ever know  
A part of me died when I let you go**_ /

* * *

Taichi had never seen Yamato as nervous as the blonde was when the day of he and Sora's wedding finally arrived. It wasn't obvious if you looked at the young man's posture and expression, of course, but pacing and faint frowns gave the blonde away.

Eventually, he decided that he'd have to do something. " Stop that pacing, will you?" he grunted out. " You're making me dizzy."

Yamato shot a glare towards him. " Are you telling me that I'm not allowed to be nervous?" The man ran a nervous hand through his blonde hair. " I'm getting married, damnit! And I'm barely twenty! What if I'm making a mistake? What if we'll end up like my parents? What if…?" The blonde's lips kept moving, but no words came out so that he could've distinguished them.

This was his opportunity to finally have what he'd wanted for such a long time, he realized. But he couldn't bring himself to utter what his heart would've wanted to. He loved Yamato far too much to do that, to steal away the happiness his best friend had a chance for.

That's why he outstretched a hand, and instead of brushing Yamato's cheek or grabbing a hand smacked the blonde's head playfully. It was the final cut to his ridiculous, futile hopes, ultimate sign of letting go.

The other glared at him again. " What the heck was for?"

It was a pure miracle he managed to smile. " For you being an idiot." He could've never imagined forming words could be as painful as it was then. " The woman of your dreams is there waiting for you. So stop being a dimwit and go."

Acting completely against his nature, Yamato smiled, almost chuckled. Every wrinkle of worry disappeared. " Insult me one more time and I'll smack you, _hard_."

He rolled his eyes. " Let's go, tough guy."

As he watched the two of them – his best friends – say 'I do', only the happiness he felt for them kept his grin from turning into grimace. That, although he could've sworn a part of him shattered to pieces and died.

That night, after having had far more drinks than his head would've been ready to endure, he slept with a blonde-haired, blue-eyed waitress he'd met at the wedding reception. Month and a half later, she announced she was pregnant. As he married her a couple of years later, he almost managed to convince himself that it wasn't the man stood behind him he would've wished to exchange his vows with.

His love was blind and terrifying in its power. But one day, he wouldn't see and feel it anymore – for all of their sakes. It'd have stop hurting eventually, right?

(Yet still, he couldn't be sure who's blue eyes he saw when whispering 'I love you' after making love to his wife.)

* * *

/ _**After all this why  
Would you ever wanna leave it  
Maybe you could not believe it  
That my love for you was blind  
But I couldn't make you see it  
Couldn't make you see it  
That I loved you more than you will ever know  
A part of me died when I let you go  
That I loved you more than you'll ever know  
A part of me died when I let you go**_ /

* * *

Years later, there was a bouquet of breathtakingly beautiful, flawlessly white lilies on Taichi's grave. The small card attached to them wasn't written in the neat handwriting of his wife.

' _To my only love._

_I'm so sorry.'_

* * *

_**Owari.**_

* * *

A/N: (sniff) Quite sad, hmm?

PLEASE, do let me know what you thought! As I mentioned, this was my first Digimon-fic ever, so I'd really like to know how I did. (sends HUGE, irresistible puppy-dog eyes)

Thank you so much for reading! Take care!


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